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This is a real, unedited Manucheck analysis of an 88,000-word literary novel — every score, every finding and every fix exactly as an author receives it.
The Longer Winter
Dana Whitfield · 88,420 words
- Category:
- Fiction › Literary › Family Saga
- Marketplace:
- Amazon.com (US)
- Analysis time:
- 11 min 04 sec
- Review passes:
- 6 scored independently
Category scores
Strong voice and dialogue. Filter words cluster in chapters 3 and 12.
Act two runs 31% longer than comparable titles in this category.
Grade 7.4 — well matched to the target readership.
Heading styles are inconsistent, which breaks the generated table of contents.
Keyword set overlaps the chosen browse category and wastes two of seven slots.
No policy conflicts. Two brand references flagged for review.
Findings, ordered by what blocks publication
Table of contents omits chapters 9 and 14
Those two chapter openers use a manually bolded paragraph instead of Heading 1, so KDP's generated contents skips them entirely.
Suggested fix: Apply Heading 1 to both chapter openers so all 26 chapters appear in the contents.
Copyright page is missing a rights statement
The copyright page carries a year and name but no reservation of rights, which most distributors expect on the imprint page.
Suggested fix: Add: All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced without written permission.
Keyword set duplicates the chosen category
Two of seven keyword slots repeat terms already covered by the browse category, so they add no new discoverability.
Suggested fix: Replace the duplicated terms with long-tail phrases that the category does not already cover.
Two brand references appear in dialogue
Registered marks are used descriptively in chapters 4 and 19. Descriptive use is normally fine, but both are worth a deliberate decision.
Suggested fix: Either keep the reference as plain descriptive use, or substitute a generic term.
Act two runs long against comparable titles
The middle third is 31% longer than similar family sagas, with three consecutive low-tension chapters at 14 through 16.
Suggested fix: Tighten or merge chapters 14 and 15 and move the reveal in chapter 16 earlier.
Filter words cluster in two chapters
Words such as felt, saw and realised appear at roughly triple the manuscript average in chapters 3 and 12.
Suggested fix: Rewrite the flagged sentences to put the reader directly in the scene.
Before and after
Every finding comes with the corrected text. Fix-all applies them in one pass, and you export the result.
Chapter heading
Manual bold text instead of a heading style — invisible to the table of contents
Before
**Chapter Nine**
After
Chapter Nine · [Heading 1 applied]
Copyright page
No reservation of rights
Before
Copyright © 2026 Dana Whitfield
After
Copyright © 2026 Dana Whitfield. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced without written permission.
Keywords
Two slots duplicate the browse category
Before
literary fiction, family saga, novel, drama, fiction book, winter, sisters
After
multigenerational family novel, estranged sisters story, small town literary fiction, inheritance drama, slow burn family secrets, rural winter setting, book club fiction
Prose
Filter words hold the reader at a distance
Before
She felt the cold seep in and realised she had left the window open.
After
The cold seeped in. The window stood open, latch swinging.
Book description
Opens with backstory instead of a hook
Before
This is the story of the Renner family, who have lived in Cold Harbor since 1918, and the events of one winter.
After
Three sisters. One farmhouse they all swore they'd never return to. And a winter that makes the choice for them.
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